A New Direction

So, as many of you do not know, I've left my job at the Big Box Store recently because...reasons. I left on good terms with management and most of my coworkers, and I was assured they would hire me back in a heartbeat, but for now, I'm going to pursue another course for a while. In the meantime, I am a stay-at-home Dad, a career I thought was my dream job. I thought it was. I thought...

Oh, Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

Maybe they're just doing it out of boredom, I don't know. Maybe they don't even know they are doing it. But I'm thoroughly convinced that my family is out to drive me insane. And, there's no reason for it. It's not like there's a big inheritance they hope to gain if they got me out of the way, or anything like that. We have been cooped up in the house since the onset of the pandemic, and I've been around a lot more, lately. Maybe they're getting tired of me and want a new Daddy?

I know what you're thinking. I'm just being paranoid. But it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you! How do I know? Well, you can look up paranoia and easily extrapolate that...what? How do I know they're out to get me? Well, I'm glad you asked! I've been dying (not literally) to talk to someone about this! I can feel my sanity slipping away by the hour!

You know what it's like. The kids are doing their schoolwork and you think the coast is clear to finally do something you've been waiting to do for a long time, like write something for your website or continue working on that novel that's two years overdue, and you fire up the coal-burning tablet or whatever you use for that sort of thing, and you bend over the keyboard and begin typing, and you get three words typed and suddenly, you hear the inevitable whine, "Daddy! I need help!" And, you can't help but drop everything to help them because, after all, they are the future, and if you expect them to visit you in the nursing home later on, you have to put in the time now. So, I help, and by the time there is another break, you've finally gotten the kids to sleep for the night and you are so tired that it takes too much energy just to watch a YouTube video. And, you're so wound up that you can't sleep until after midnight. But there's an upside, of course. You can always get up before the kids do and give yourself a couple of hours work time before you have to get them breakfast. And then, they inevitably get up early, too, and the day begins anew!

They don't just hog time better spent pursuing my selfish goals, though. It's as if they want to spoil every bit of pleasure in my life...every pleasure, that is, outside of spending every second of time and every last erg of effort on them. And, it doesn't really matter whether it's the kids or the wife, as soon as I start to enjoy something that has nothing to do with them, it's "Daddy, can you play with me?" or "I need help!" or "Can I talk to you for a while?" or "Are you busy? I need you to-!" or "You'll never guess what so-and-so did today!" Apparently, I'm on permenant stand-by, or something! What do they think I am, anyway? A father and a husband? Sheesh!

Writing, needless to say, has been difficult, at times. There are moments when I wish the wife would just spontaneously take the kids to La Crosse and leave me alone for a while. But just my luck, I won't be able to write because of some lame excuse, like the house needs cleaning, or that family of raccoons has got to go before I get home or else I'm leaving you forever! Little things like that. Still, there are tiny snippets of time, microscopic moments really, that when you scoop them together in a pile make a good minute or two of writing time which I take advantage of as long as the tablet is charged. And don't get me started on my Minecraft obligations! You'll never get me to shut up about them!

In all, it's been a god-awful experience being a stay-at-home Dad, yet I can no longer cut it out in the rest of the world, so I guess I'm stuck here for the long haul. And, I had better get used to it, too! I'm just glad you're there to lend a sympathetic ear. You'll listen to me when I need to vent and...what? You have to leave? Really? But why? I just got started! What? Okay, if you really have to go. Will I see you later? Maybe? Hello? Oh, okay. Good-bye.