How Not To Write A Book (...and, maybe how to correct that)

I've been writing the same "book" for about twenty years now, off and on, and I've been pretty frustrated about it, too. I would write and write on it, get so far into it, then hate what I'm doing and either give up or start all over again. It was an obsession, plain and simple, because I would always go back to it eventually. I thought it was my true calling, what God wanted me to do with my life; but, if that was really the case, then why did He send me first to be a hotel banquet manager, then a floor associate in a department store? To gain experience with life and other forms of frustrations so I could use them in my writing? To allow me time to mature and grow and gain some better perspective? I may never know the answer. But, upon reflecting on my stories and work habits over the years, I've come to understand that I have terrible habits, and my methods are all over the place. I do things in the wrong order. I am not disciplined to be a writer.

At work, I can get the job done. I can organize my thoughts, prioritize what needs to be done first, and work in the order needed to accomplish the task. But, not so with writing. So, I thought I would put this out there as a reminder to myself on how I should do things, and to help anyone else out there who might be struggling with the same dilemma.

In other words, this article is a "Don't Do As I Do, Do As I Say" sort of article.

1. Start with the final draft: Well, not exactly the final draft. What I mean is, don't write your first draft as if it was the final draft. I fell in love with every word of those drafts, until I wrote myself into a spot where I couldn't think of where to go from there, or I started to hate what I was writing. I had lots of versions of the book I am currently writing for the thousandth time. I just started writing them and allowed myself the freedom to take them wherever circumstances took them. Sometimes I would be inspired by what others had written or by something I saw on TV, but I had no cohesive plan for the story or the characters. I didn't develop the characters very well, if at all, and instead treated them all, even the main one, as props to keep the story going. I didn't even look at the previous versions to see where I could improve; I just started writing it all over again with just the seed of an idea in my minuscule brain. And, as should have been expected, I kept failing.

But, now I think I know what went wrong, barring the notion that I have no real talent at all. I should have written an outline.

2.Write an intricate, detailed outline: Okay, so I wasn't entirely accurate. I did write an outline or two in that period. But, my outlines took on the form of short stories. I wrote details in, wrote dialog, put it in paragraph form, and put in the chapter breaks, to the extent that I might as well have just written the whole thing like it was the final draft. I thought that was the only way I could do it. I couldn't do it in skeleton form, at least on paper. I tried, but I ended up adding the details in even in skeletal form, so I went back to the short story form. It was more comfortable that way, even if it was a bit more frustrating in the long run.

Now, I'm writing what I consider a real outline. No minute details, no dialog, just the basics of what I want to have happen in the chapter and what I want to introduce to the story that will get used later on. I can even note what the character feels about something so I can infer it in the actual draft. Dialog will come based on the notes I make. So will emotions. And this way, I can refer to things from earlier in the text easier than turning back and searching fully realized narrative for what I need. Which brings me to another point.

3. Write the outline after you write the first draft: Makes more sense to do the opposite, right? Well, I wish I had that kind of sense back then. I always started off "cold writing" the story, writing the first draft before I even had any idea where the tale was going or who the players were. I had no rhyme or reason to my writing. Whatever felt right went in. And, that's how I usually wrote myself into a corner or found myself confronted with writer's block. Severe writer's block. (Like right now: I'm finding myself at a loss for words writing this article; I should have done an outline of ideas. When will I learn?) It only added to the "fun" of frustration.

So, I guess the short story is: write the outline first, no matter how painful it might be to not just dive right into the writing. Start simple, with just the barest of concepts, like boy meets girl, girl is a mob boss, boy gets caught up in her murderous business, boy decides to turn states evidence, girl doesn't like it. Then, fill it in from there. Who helps boy? Who helps girl? Do they still love each other? And so on. You can add details as you think of them, and let your imagination soar. You can be goofy or serious, and even better, you can change it as you like and hone it BEFORE you start the first draft. It should save you a ton of frustration, and help alleviate writer's block. It'll also keep you from repeating, ad nausea, the same concepts, practically verbatim, throughout your book (kind of like what's happening in this article).

[Full disclosure: I'm writing an outline right now, but I started it AFTER I had written seventeen chapters of the book. Yeah, I know...but I'm terrible at taking advice, especially my own. But, I tell myself there is a plan: I'm using this outline to note where I want to make changes to the draft, what to add to it and where, and to consolidate the chapters I already wrote to make the narrative more cohesive and flow better. And, to add depth to the characters. See? I can delude myself pretty well.]

4. Give up when it gets tough: Writer's block hits everyone, even people who would never claim to be authors. It's a creative slump, a loss of energy to do anything else with the project you're working on, or a total lack of ideas on how to proceed. Nothing feels right, there seems to be no way out of the mess you have gotten yourself into, and you just want to give up. I've done that a lot. I've even allowed other things, like my job or my kids or the universe, or just life in general, serve as my excuses to give up on the book(s) and try to live as a grown-up once and for all. But, for some reason, that idea never stuck. I always got back to the book, or whatever version of it existed at the time, or I started it all over again, thinking that I could write up to and past the point where I was stuck if only I took the tale on a different route. It never worked out, yet I repeated the pattern over and over again thinking that the next time, it was going to work. The definition of insanity, so to speak, though I suspect that defining insanity is in reality much more complicated than that. Still, I didn't recognize the pattern until recently, and even then I didn't break the cycle. Again, I rewrote the book, though I have to say that this version, so far, is much better than the previous ones. I do have better energy and enthusiasm for it than I had with the others, though I might merely be "misremembering" those other experiences, either as an automatic defense mechanism my brain concocted to keep me (semi) sane, or because my memory is really that faulty.

Now, I have no intention of giving up on the book when it gets hard. I found out that, although it is still frustrating to confront writer's block, it is also kind of fun. It's like playing a video game and confronting a particularly difficult boss. You don't just give up on the game. You keep playing that level, finding the pattern of attack, and figuring out how to beat it. I've come up against blockage a few times now, and I've taken the time to think it through, even when I'm trying to not think about it at all. It's very satisfying to get past the block, and it can be pretty fun to make the characters make the wrong decisions and have to live with the consequences later.

5. Think of your characters as infallible: Yes, I did that. I went there. Every decision they made was the right one. Every time they were in a predicament, they got out of it unscathed. They always knew the right things to say at the right time. It was...pure rubbish. No one is like that. Everyone makes mistakes. No one makes the right decisions all the time. And, no one is as helpful and cordial as most of my characters were. But, that was what I wanted in my book at the time, and I didn't even think about how that was so bad. So, when I reflected on my work, I saw that it was terrible. Awful. And, I would write it all over again, and unwittingly fall into the same trap again. And, again. And, again. So, long story even longer: make your characters human. Make them make mistakes. Make them get hurt. Make them stumble over the words to say when the moment gets heavy. Make them run away from the danger. Make them afraid. But, also let them laugh. Let them fall in love and get their heart broken. Let them get sick and tired of each other. Let them live. Let them be human.

You know, an outline would be a great way to notate that kind of thing. (Maybe in parentheses.) Or, a character bio. That would be a nice writing exercise.

Okay, so you now know a lot about my "writing style". Call it feckless. Call it reckless. Just don't call it late for dinner. (Okay, that wasn't necessary. I apologize.) The point is: don't do that! Make an outline first. Add details to it and develop it first, before you start that first draft. Include how the characters feel about the situation and each other. Note the character's goals and motivations somewhere so you have an easy reference. That way, when you get into the draft, you are ready to tackle that blockade ahead. And, you know it's coming. It WILL come! It's...inevitable!

Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I hate to think of anyone else encountering the kind of frustration I've consistently experienced for so very long. And, if these "tips" help you write that Great American Novel and get it published and make millions of dollars in movie deals and merchandising, well, I just want you to know that I hate you and wish I was in your place.